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  • Nov 8th, 2016

    The Do’s and Dont’s of Divorce


    Since a divorce will affect you for the rest of your life, it’s important that you do everything you can to ensure the final results are something you can live with, and are something that sets the stage for a new and better chapter of your life. Here are some do’s and don’ts of divorce.

    Don’t Get Divorced for the Wrong Reasons

    Make sure you’re getting divorced for the correct motives. People change over time. Communication in a marriage can break down and things like finances and children can come between couples. Getting a divorce is not going to solve these issues and can often make the stress even worse. Seek counseling if there’s a slim chance your marriage can be salvaged. Frequently, people believe if you just move on from your partner you’ll be happier, but there may be an inherent reason to your unhappiness that’s not related to your partner. An experienced marriage counselor can frequently help you solve marriage difficulties collectively or separately.

    Do Talk About the Divorce

    If you’re on great terms with your partner, discuss the divorce. If you’re able to agree to conditions without the need for attorney negotiations or guidance, you may be able to get an uncontested divorce. Going through an uncontested divorce may also reduce your worry, as well as save you a substantial amount of money. If you have kids, this can be considerably easier for them, both during and after the divorce.

    Do Get to Know Your Divorce Lawyer

    Every divorce lawyer has her or his own way of doing things. Make certain their approach allows you to protect your best interests during and after the divorce. Some divorce lawyers offer a free phone consultation to allow you to get to know the lawyer and determine if they’re a good fit for you. An aggressive divorce lawyer may be perfect if your ex is fighting with you and making things tough. On the other hand, if things are amicable between you and your partner, you may want a lawyer to take a much less adversarial approach.

    Don’t Neglect Communicating with Your Children

    Speak with your children about the divorce if they are old enough to comprehend it. Enlist relatives and friends to help you and your family, and seek professional help or support groups for children of divorce. Frequently, you and your ex will understand why you’re getting a divorce, but it can be quite confusing for your kids. Stay positive and don’t go into an excessive amount of detail. This may cause all kinds of relationship problems, trust problems, and parenting problems for your kids later in life.  You also want to be sure to not assign blame to the other parent, even if you feel that way.  This is easily the fastest way to cut your custody time short, as the Courts have little patience for children being dragged into the middle of the arguments.

    For more information about divorce, contact the Haefner Law Office today for a consultation by calling (314) 200-6101.